empty

Sometimes I feel empty, like I don't even live, my heart hardly beats to be considered being alive. People try and go out with me but no one seems like how I wish to have them be. All they want is sexual favors then never talk to me again. I don't want that, I want someone to love me, but no one wants that anymore. There is one person that I do like but I don't think he likes me, we've known each other for years yet I feel like I'm the one with the crush and he just want me for sexual favors. I hate how I'm always used and never loved, is it so hard to ask for something small as for love, to be loved for myself alone, not looks, I don't want to be hurt anymore but it seems like that's how it will be for the rest of my life.